Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view
I want to talk to you about P E R S P E C T I V E. Our perspectives influence every thought, emotion and action we have. I want to offer you a different perspective on your world than what you have now.
Your mind has upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day. That’s a lot of thinking! And most of it is done unconsciously. How scary is THAT?! 60,000 thoughts running through our brains every day and we maybe notice half of that and react to even less than half. Most of our thoughts are repetitive, which can be super helpful for not losing our minds by trying to keep up with all 60,000 thoughts everyday. But shouldn’t you know what the majority of those thoughts are? They are actually dictating your every move. Shouldn’t you be in control of them?
You can be. You just have to learn how to change your perspective if you want to change your thoughts. First comes the thought. Then we have an emotion based on that thought. Lastly comes the action, or inaction, or reaction in most cases. If your perspective is generally negative, your thoughts will be generally negative too. And yep, your emotions and actions follow suit … like train cars following a negative coach car…choo choo!
Real Life Example:
Thought – My husband didn’t take the trash out. Again. He never helps me. He doesn’t care about me.
Emotion – Anger, disappointment, resentment, self-pity
Action – Take the trash out in anger yourself, resent him for 2 days and not tell him why.
Inaction – Leave the trash there to rot. Then stew for 2 days regardless of who ends up taking it out.
Reaction – Freak out mode. Start screaming and yelling and telling him he never listens to you and must not love you. Spend an hour fighting and end up going to bed mad not even sure what you were fighting about in the first place.
Thought – My husband didn’t take the trash out. Again. He must have forgot. He has been working all day/been with the kids all day so maybe he’s just tired.
Emotion – empathy, gratitude, love
Action – take it out yourself, consider it an act of service for him and be done with it.
Inaction – don’t take it out and let him remember on his own time. And actually don’t worry about it.
Reaction – Say something to him about it. But leading with the emotion of empathy this time. “Babe, did you forget to take this trash out? I know you’ve been busy but when you get a chance that would help me a lot.”
Listen ladies. I know if in reality the trash is spilling into the floor, your kids are demanding 5,000 things and you’re just trying to get dinner on the table, it’s going to be REAL hard to be nice about something you’ve asked of someone a million times. BUT your perspective literally makes or breaks you at that point. If you have the Negative Perspective – you will feel pretty crappy after whatever action you take AND it will spill into your sleep, your relationships, your parenting, your mood and ALL of your other thoughts/emotions/actions for the rest of the day or until you’re over it. If you choose the Positive Perspective – you feel happy, un-bothered and well… pretty generally unruffled.
You are in control of how you view your life. OTHER PEOPLE’S ACTIONS DO NOT HAVE TO AFFECT YOU. That’s a choice. If you perceive their actions towards you in a certain way, regardless of whether that is your truth or THE truth, then that is what they will be.
My friends, choose the better perception. Just do it. Don’t draw up the drama. It’s not worth it. You are worth the happy life you want. Create it.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
– Maya Angelou