I just want to remind you that you are doing enough. You are enough. Pleasing everyone is impossible. Did you read that? It’s impossible. Don’t spend your whole life trying to achieve an impossible goal. This will only leave you, the source of it all, completely depleted of joy.
People pleasing is my biggest struggle as a mother. Actually, it’s my biggest struggle as a human. I’ve been putting other people’s needs first since I was a kid. It’s inherent in me. Some kind of need. To ensure no one is mad at me. To ensure everyone around me is happy. Everyone around me is taken care of.
Then I became a mother. I became stretched so thin, that I broke. I remember the day I realized I didn’t have enough of me to go around anymore. I could no longer try to please everyone. I had a baby to take care of. And he took up so much of my brain, my time, my energy and my being – there was nothing else left to go around.
During my 3 years of motherhood I’ve learned a lot about myself. I look back at the girl I used to be with sadness in some ways. She was naive. She was lost. She was constantly reaching for that unattainable goal. People pleasing to a fault is actually selfish – not selfless. It also opens you up to getting hurt. You are depending on someone else’s happiness to have just a moment of your own. If you are always making sure everyone around you is happy – but neglecting your own happiness – then listen up, Mama. You are not being true to yourself. You will never, ever be happy if you don’t start focusing on yourself more. It’s okay to be a giver. It’s okay to take care of everyone else. But NOT at your expense anymore. Tune out the noise and listen to yourself. What is it that you need? What is your heart asking you for? Let it speak.
You are worthy, Mama.
<3, MA
The Well Mom Collective 