Are motherhood and sacrifice synonyms? Are they connected, co-existing, can’t have one without the other? If you don’t sacrifice yourself in some way – doesn’t that make you a bad mother?
We all seem to think so. How incredibly backwards. When did we get the idea that having nothing left to give at the end of the day means you did a good job? Modern mothers often believe that in order to be a great mom, you have to be utterly self-less, sacrificial by nature and suffering on some level.
Motherhood does mean sacrifice. But not sacrifice of your self worth, self confidence, self healing, self acceptance or self being.
The women that have come before us have all been self-sacrificing in one way or another. The patriarchal society our mothers and their mothers grew up in, was just the way things were. As generations have passed and the role of women in society has progressed, we have asserted our own authority, autonomy and rights, while becoming more involved outside of our home and outside of motherhood – in the workplace, in politics and in society.
But modern mothers tend to still carry a very self-sacrificing nature, especially when it comes to their own children. Maybe this is just a lingering effect from past generations. Maybe it’s one of the last steps, as women, we must take to fully shed our “less-than” anyone mentality. Raising our children is the most important job we as mothers will ever have. Our presence, our guidance and our relationship with our children will forever impact every generation that comes after. We all want our children to chase their dreams, follow their hearts and just. be. happy.
But how can we ever expect for them to learn how to do all of that if we aren’t showing them how?
How can you give your children the confidence to be themselves, love themselves and take care of themselves?
By doing so for yourself.
“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.”W.E.B. Du Bois
Yes mama, you will sacrifice sleep, date nights with your partner, time to yourself, brain space, that SUV you’ve always wanted and maybe even some bathroom breaks, but you never, ever, ever have to sacrifice YOURSELF.
Teach your children how to love and honor their own selves, by loving and honoring yourself amidst the natural and given sacrifices of motherhood.
Seek awareness and assertiveness of self – instead of self sacrifice.
Work on healing and self care – instead of self neglect.
Try loving yourself and building your self confidence – instead of drowning in self hate.
Build your own self belief and self determination – instead of feeding your self defeat.
Practice self help and trust your self worth – instead of listening to your self doubt.
You matter too. Your needs, your wants, your dreams. You don’t have to sacrifice it all to be a good mother. You weren’t meant to merely survive motherhood. And you CAN learn to thrive in it. You have the knowledge, the ability and the strength inside of you – but you have to nourish it. You have to make room for it. And when you can’t do it – you have to ask for help with it. Asking for help does not make you weak – in fact it’s quite the opposite.
We were built for this.
You are strong. You are able. And you are worthy. ❤