Do you feel tired, overwhelmed or burnt out? Are you craving more connection to your spouse, your children or yourself? Are you in need of something that you wouldn’t dream of asking for? Maybe you don’t know how to ask. Maybe you don’t even know what you need.
So many of us feel depleted. We are going through the motions of our daily lives but something is missing. We are shuffling kids to and from activities, throwing dinner in the oven, walking the dog, trying to better our relationships or trying to fit some work in.
There’s little time left for yourself. But you aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s your nature as a mother to give, nurture and sacrifice. All of those things are well and good, and frankly necessary when it comes to motherhood, but they are not ALL you are.
Take a moment to close your eyes and picture that girl, that woman that you used to be – before you were a mom. What do you see? What clothes are you wearing? What songs are you listening to? What are your mornings like? Your evenings? Your weekends? What are you eating? Who are your friends? What are you reading? What are your goals? Your dreams? Your actual plans? What does your future self look like?
Is there a gap between who you thought you’d be and who you are now? That’s okay. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. If there’s something you feel is missing – you still have time to find it. In the midst of motherhood, you have to remember the person inside of you. The one you were before you were called Mama. She has everything to do with the kind of mother you are, the path you’re on and the life you’re living…and yet you forgot about her. Start asking yourself a little more often what she needs. It’s not wrong. It’s not selfish. It’s what is missing.
Get out a piece of paper, a sticky note….anything. Write down the following with your own answers:
- I am mama.
- I am ___(name)___.
- I will ________________________.
With that last one I want you to pledge something to yourself. It can be vague – we will get more specific later. “I will do something for myself everyday.” “I will participate in self care more often.” “I will do some form of exercise daily.” “I will be internally kinder to myself.” Whatever it is you know you need to work on – write it down. Post this paper somewhere you will see it every single day for the next week.
“Self-love is not selfish. You cannot truly love another, until you learn how to first, love yourself.” – MAH